Price of Wine

When one decides what wine to buyThere is always a better alternativeBut students were poor like mice in churchFrom the beginning of eternity

Only a student would eagerly spendThe last five bucks of his moneyTo buy a bottle or two for himselfAnd his beloved honey

Variety’s great, don’t be misledMerlot, Bordeaux, Chardonnay, Port wineBut when you are with a girl in bedYou shall drink only Champagne

When you opt to pay 500 dollarsFor a bottle of wineYou shall treat the liquidAs almost semi-divine

You sniff it and lick itPreparing the taste-budsFor a special treatmentBefore it gets consumed in your guts

It is the experts' opinionAnd very high priceThat sets up expectationsAnd primes your vice

I suppose you are not drinking itJust to get drunk?This is gonna score pointsLike a well timed slam-dunk

Your friends and enemiesWill envy your gameWomen will neverTreat you the same

And only when you are in your primeYour kids have graduated from collegeYou will be ready to acquireSome extraordinary knowledge

For you, my sire, I would recommendTo spend some changeAnd try a wineIn 5,000 dollar range

It's only the wealthiestAnd wise with moneyCan shell out so muchFor a little winey

Who could have thought it?That soil and timeSome amount of rainAnd a lot of sunshine

Can produce that verySpecial cropThat would sellFor 5,000 bucks a pop!

When you are dyingOr your health's in declineBuy yourselfSome 50,000 dollar wine

Borrow, if necessary,Sell your estateBut drink it, no chug itBefore it's too late!

And, finally, we have arrived at the secret…And that secret is only mineIt is about special1,000,000 dollar wine

It was a gift from BacchusOnce in a lifetime…I am the luckiest of mortalsWho sipped that drink divine

I don’t know what happenedBut, I started my life againWith a lovely girl in bedI am drinking cold Champagne